Lost

I have no clue what to do anymore, Things I used to like aren’t fun anymore, Everything seems boring and similar, youtube, facebook, online content is getting repetitive now, I tried picking up a few things which I used to be interested in, but after some inspection it turns out I am not truly interested in them now, I want to do X but it fades away, I have an urge to do X but at the end of the day I reach a valley of not doing anything.

I have noticed that my day starts with having certain peaks, by the end of day all of them are gone.

Was I truly interested in them or was it a manifestation of my mind?

 

What next? I have no clue. What now? I have no clue.

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Life

Never in my life have I felt so confused, all the emotions right now are so intense, I am more aware about everything around me, perversions of varied intensity are happening around me, I have accepted everything as is. All of this is because of practicing meditation.

My desire to own things, have relations with people is slowly fading away. My prejudices seems to be melting, I am more open now.

I have no clue what’s happening to me.

 

Thank you all

Thanks to all the people who read my blog, provided critique and underwent extreme mental torture (making sense of my writing) as English is not my first language and I suck at it.

I want to thank all of you for being so awesome and bearing with it.

(I think we need to thank people more for all the little things they do in life to make others happy, appreciation does wonders)

Thank you again

Regards

lud

With love from India

(PS lud in Bulgarian means insane and in Hungarian means goose)

Rants about life

I think I won’t be able to master Japanese or motivate myself to learn it without having actual interaction with a person who speaks Japanese (which is sad). anyhow life has been really hard for me lately and I have no option left but to think about life and question my very existence(NSFW). Yes questioning life and your very existence is the stupidest thing you will ever do(or I did w/e).

So here I am trying to motivate myself out of the self inflicted misery. How wise am I? I have asked this to myself plenty of times, I don’t quite get it, how do I know, how wise a person is?
Blah too many questions with no answers.

For now I will just think positive and not worry about life and its quirks.